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Squiggles meets The Splendid…


Image Courtesy of Miss Squiggles

Image Courtesy of Miss Squiggles

Every business meeting is a speed date.

You dress well, you don’t know anyone, you have only a few seconds to blurt out a few silly anecdotes about yourself: “My name is Squiggles, I love cakes, writing and messing people’s lives…”

And then you meet “The Splendid”. The one who’s clearly not at a networking event for the networking part. The one with the obscure job you’ve never heard of and the networking relation you’ll never find useful; but instead of creeping you out, he has some sort of hold on you.

You find yourself bored and fascinated. Bored because there are ten middle-aged individuals in the room and there isn’t anyone who could be remotely useful for your business or your personal development; Fascinated because you are drinking your second cocktail and you feel happy and flirty and happy and flirty and…

You play along, of course. Your name wouldn’t be Squiggles if you didn’t. (Careful here, this last definition could have various meanings).

You chat the night away. You get your third drink and you remotely acknowledge the fact that you are still at a networking event with boring networking people.

The guy is funny or is he? You can’t really tell. He is certainly good-looking though or is he? He is in a suit so  it’s hard to tell. Everyone looks good in a suit.

Truth is The Splendid isn’t supposed to be good-looking or funny. The Splendid is supposed to be…well, Splendid.

He makes jokes: “You’re a writer, don’t write about me, please…”

Oh, don’t  you even worry about that.

He is flirty: “I have never seen someone wearing a hat at a networking event, how original…”

Oh, you have no idea.

He is slightly cocky:

“I don’t want to sound cocky but I practically run the business I work for…They will be nothing without me…”

Pretty sure, they are nothing with you.

And then he is even cockier: “Bet you don’t normally meet good-looking guys at these events…”

Actually, I do. OK, that’s a lie because I don’t but he doesn’t have to know that, does he?

We move to a bar and then to another one. He seems funnier. Of course, all he can do is talking about himself…about his terrible relationships with women: “what’s wrong with you girls? What do you want?”; his mother: “I am the eldest son and it’s not that she doesn’t love the other ones, it’s just that our relationship is different” (bleahh, gross); his job: “I should  leave the company I work  for, they don’t deserve me.”

Squiggles listens patiently to his problems all night long, not entirely sure why, and when it’s time to leave he makes a move. Of course, he does. Have you ever seen Squiggles in a hat? She is hot.

Squiggles shifts a little bit so he almost smashes his face on a lamp post. She won’t have The Splendid kiss her; not when he smells of beer anyway and looks rather ‘unsplendid’.

She jumps on the next cab while he doesn’t even bother to wave her goodbyes; probably already on the lookout for another single girl.

Of course, he doesn’t care to send her a text to check if she is home safe. He is The Splendid, he doesn’t care.

Still, would you date a Splendid?


Miss Squiggles



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